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| Is this the Runway idea of the Christmas Sweater? |
The Mother (mine) and her husband came to visit my family this past Thanksgiving holiday. They showed up two days earlier than I expected. I wasn't ready, though Himself will affirm that I am never "ready" for a visit from the Mother. True, but I could have used more practice in my breathing and serenity exercises.
Early into the visit (actually within five minutes of the Mother entering the house), I had already broken my first rule of engagement: Do not engage or comment on any subject, no matter that you have facts to back you up. My fact-based comments are not regarded well, and seem to provoke a menacing reaction in the Mother.
I made a fast recovery from my initial transgression, and went into "I'm on camera" mode. When dealing with uncomfortable situations, I have found it helpful to pretend there is a live camera on me at all times. This way, when the other person (almost always the Mother) starts talking, I make sure I look like the sane, together one, and that the Mother is totally accountable for what comes out of her mouth. Sometimes I know my face just screams out "What the F*@# Did She Just Say?", but I have learned to actually force myself to smile instead of attempt to have a meaningful conversation or discussion about the subject she is talking about. In the past, I have made dreadful mistakes in judgment by contributing unwanted facts to dispel her "facts", and well, the Mother doesn't take it well and I am rewarded by being told that I am not nice, and "you just think you know it all don't you?" My brain yells out: "Hell yes, I do!" But then the visit ends badly and will be all my fault.
Another great coping trick of mine is to excuse myself to use the bathroom, where I practice deep breathing and affirmations like: "I am not crazy" and "All is well, think serene thoughts". Again, the hidden camera trick works, as does the "bathroom time out", though if you use that one too much you will need to answer the question, "Are you feeling okay?"
In the end, I provided a great visit to the Mother, she got to spend time with her grandkids, and Himself dazzled her with his barbecued turkey. Though while the visit went pretty smoothly, due to my extreme intention of making it through unscathed, I did lapse into PDSS within a day after they left. Post Dramatic Stress Syndrome - or PDSS, is real. I developed-or is it contracted?- a virus affecting my respiratory system that, literally, was taking my breath away. After all that serenity breathing, and attempts at settling my heartrate and reactionary attack mode that the Mother invoked in me, I thought I was homefree. Apparently, it was too much for my immune system.
Skip to the present...I ended up getting really sick. Two days ago, it was my one day shopping without kids and I was so out of it I forgot what I was doing in a few stores. Well, after my sorry attempt at shopping, I made myself go see a doctor. Now after 24 hours of beginning the Z pack, I am feeling better. Unfortunately, when leaving to see the doctor yesterday, I almost took out a neighbor driving by when I pulled out of our driveway without looking right. It's not the same as doing that in front of a stranger who you don't know and most likely won't see again. Crap, now if I get into an accident, he will be able to say how I barely missed hitting him just the other day, and that he could tell it was only a matter of time before I hit someone. I'll have to be ultra careful driving for awhile. That really sounds bad, like I'm not normally careful. But then I just told you that I about took out a neighbor, and the car was still half in the driveway. Well, at least he was in a car and not walking down the street... I promise to be more aware of my surroundings...is that better? I'll be more careful, out there in the world, but really right now with only two days to finish shopping, I'm feeling more like making hot tea, crawling into bed, and reading a book all day. Everyone will be safe, and all will be right in the world...
Worse part (or is it really the best part?) of feeling like I have for the past few weeks is that I lost my taste for sugar. So all the baked goods here in the house were the safest they have been for years. Even a sip of wine tasted off...
But now, I am on the mend, and looking forward to helping the kids decorate cookies, enjoying a glass of cheer, and grooving on the Christmas tree that took a day and a half to decorate. I have this thing about stringing the lights on the tree, all because of Martha Stewart. A few years ago, I watched her show where she wove the lights in and out of each branch. Absolutely gorgeous, and absolutely tedious. Nope, no more just looping the lights on, tucking them in, and saying done. I spend hours, many, many hours, doing the lights. Our tree is usually around 10 feet or so, so it takes about 1500 lights or more. The first year I tried the "Martha" way I had to go out and buy more lights...many boxes of more lights. Now, Himself, Teenager and Last Son have no interest in joining me or enabling me. They willingly leave me alone in my madness, returning only when I say Done!
While telling ourselves it's not about the presents, Himself and I fret over the "lists" and the visualization of how Christmas morning will look to Teenager and Last Son, while silently cursing the consumerism we have bought into (literally).
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| Okay, now this is a bit much, but how cool to be able to see it in person? (from: psychcentral.com/blog) |
Well, enough of that bah humbug...Here's to a Great Holiday Season with good cheer, time for friends, decorated homes, light displays to drive by (carefully), Christmas treats and Christmas songs.
And for a parting gift:
Check out this site for some cool Christmas Trees! http://funniestarea.blogspot.com/2009/12/funny-and-cool-christmas-trees-photos.html
