CHILD THANKS PARENTS FOR FEEDING HIM...

Cereal bowl, work of art, or
absolute waste of a costly food product? 

Yesterday, Last Son came home with a Thanksgiving  card for Himself and I.  He designed his card with tiny cross-hatched squares that he individually colored.Tremendous small motor skill work for the boy who balks at holding a pencil correctly.  

We are always so happy when he writes anything, especially when he comes up with the wording himself. And what did this card say inside? “Dear Mom/Dad, I love you so much.  I am also very thankful for you packing my lunch, feeding me dinner, breakfast and lunch.” Good grief, what did his teacher think when she read this?

Anyone with two growing kids in the house knows how fast any food in the pantry disappears.  Both kids love fruit and at least two servings are packed in their lunch. Organic fruit is expensive. Last Son also tucks a half or whole red bell pepper inside his bag. Organic vegetables are expensive. A turkey sandwich, Greek organic yogurt, and sometimes seaweed.  Yes, Last Son is a fan of the sheets of seaweed.

Anyone who eats (and who doesn’t) and anyone who has to shop for food (I’m thinking most of us do) knows how expensive food is.  And the grocery bill just gets higher every two weeks.  And since we try to buy organic or “real food”, our bill is higher than a Walmart shopper’s bill.  I hate to go to the store.  I hate to see how much money I am spending on food that won’t make it to the end of the week.  I hate coming home after spending $80 and realize there isn’t a meal, other than lunches, in the bags.  

Do you remember eating a bowl of cereal if all the frig had in it was milk?  Well, cereal is a premium and extravagant food product now.  And the healthiest cereals are boxed in smaller quantities for more money.  Cereal has become an issue in our home.  Teenager likes Smart Start which is very expensive and never on sale.  And for the past two weeks (coinciding with trips to Trader Joes), Last Son likes Puffins, a choice which would no doubt change though if they are ever on sale and I stock up. 

Actually, the issue in our house is not what kind of cereal, but whose cereal.  The kids have started putting their names on their cereal boxes, even with warnings like “Stay out Dad”.  And why you may ask?  Because Himself likes to combine cereals in his bowl.  Himself generally likes cereal that has twigs and flakes, but will add any other cereal to his bowl for variety. A bit of this cereal mixed with a bit of that cereal.  Himself’s cereal mixing has wrecked havoc.  I am convinced that cereal is packaged to fill a certain number of bowls- full servings, and if you mess with this method by only pouring a half serving, then the box ends up with less than even a half serving of cereal.  And because Himself has been conditioned (since childhood?) not to eat the last of anything, he leaves that minimal amount of cereal in the box - which is the perfect amount for a cereal mixer but not for the rest of us.  And because Himself is the only one who mixes types of cereal, and because the amount left in the box is less than even a kid-size serving, no one touches it.  And it goes stale and is eventually thrown out.  This is where I get involved since I am the person who cleans out the pantry.

Years ago throwing out a bit of stale cereal was not so much a concern. But now, the price of cereal is ridiculous.  I used to tell Beginner Child to have a bowl of cereal after school if he needed a snack.  Now, with the price of a box of worthwhile cereal hovering at around $5, this is no longer a cheap fill up.  A box of cereal only has about 3-4 bowls inside.  I mean real-life bowls, not the “suggested serving size” listed on the box.  A half-cup of cereal just doesn’t do it for growing kids, or apparently husbands.

Himself becomes quite defensive when I point out that his cereal mixing is causing our children to “hoard” their cereal.  I don’t think it is normal that children should have to put their names on their food to keep it safe.  Even growing up in my whack family, we never put names on cereal boxes.  Of course, cereal selection in the morning was much easier in my childhood home.  The adults had “serious cereals” like Raisin Bran, Shredded Wheat (the big not-bite-size kind), and Grape Nuts.  These boxes sat on the shelf alongside Cap’n Crunch and Lucky Charms.  Never a problem finding enough cereal in a box in the panty.  As a kid, in one sitting I would just keep adding more cereal to any milk left in the bowl.  And then if there was not enough milk, I would add more milk, and repeat the process.  Nope, there was never any nominal serving of cereal left over to go stale.

So, after all this rant over cereal, what is on our shelf for me?  In order to be able to reach into the pantry and still find a box with a full serving of cereal in it I choose... Raisin Bran.  No one likes it in this house, so I am assured of a bowl on any given morning.  Do I yearn for Lucky Charms?  Yes, with shame (nothing tastes better to my tainted taste buds than blue moons and green clovers!).   Do I miss the Cap’n?  Yes, but I no longer enjoy the feeling of a sliced palate (those little “crunch” pillows must have swords!).  I am an adult, or at least that’s what society tells me.  I must eat like an adult, whatever that means.  Or does that mean that now I can eat whatever I want?  Like now that I am an adult I can stay up as late as I want, even if it means I will stagger through the next day?  If so, then why don’t I have a box of Lucky Charms in the pantry if that is the cereal I really want to eat?  Because, I would have to put my name on the box, and there is something really wrong with an adult putting her name on a box of Lucky Charms!

(This is the DyeDiet Risk Chart for Lucky Charms)

LUCKY CHARMS- UNTIL I READ THIS IT TRULY WAS A "MAGICALLY DELICIOUS" CEREAL FOR ME...DAMN FACTS ALWAYS GETTING IN THE WAY