Whipped Cream or Saliva Suckers

My parents had this album
when I was growing up.
I remember thinking,
"What a waste of whipped cream!"

Teenager finally got her braces off yesterday! A long-anticipated, very exciting day for her. While Himself and I are glad she is coming to the end of her orthodontic experience, it also means there is a final bill looming ahead.  Well her smile is worth it. With the braces gone, she'll suffer no more injuries when she gets elbowed in the mouth during a basketball game. Sitting in the waiting room while her bands were popped, pried, and ground off, I could hear the various dental tools being used.  Ahh, that familiar “zzzzzz” drill/sander/polisher sound. Even two rooms away I shudder convulsively when I hear it. Even though this time it was used to remove the band adhesive, my body responds to that sound like a Pavlov dog. I wonder how it sounds to someone who has never had a cavity? Beginner Child was spared cavities and braces; Last Son has yet to have a cavity and truly looks forward to those two visits a year to the dentist.  This is all a bit weird for me, the kid who had to regularly go to a dentist named, of all things, Dr. Shock.  Really, that was his name.  And I spent a significant number of hours in his chair.  

Another tool of the dentist trade I find unpleasant is the “saliva sucker”. Not sure what the real name for the device is, but that is what it does. Hooks right over your lower lip, sitting inside slurping away. Ugggghhhh. Generally, the sound of this gurgle is as gross to me as swimming in a pool looking at floating hair. However, yesterday as I was waiting for the Teenager, and I heard the saliva sucker gurgle, the sound was actually quite pleasing because...the sound I heard was that same sound that whip cream dispensers make. I actually visualized delicious whipped cream being shot out on top of a cup of hot cocoa. Hmm, it was chilly outside. Do we have any whipped cream at home in the frig?  I think so, but is there enough?  Enough for hot cocoa for three, and Himself if he is at home?  Best to pick some more up at the market on the way home, just to be safe. Though being “safe” in talking about having enough whipped cream on hand could be construed as an odd comment by some.  But that is how I see the world. Being safe means, among many other things, having enough food on hand (of course my list of “being safe” things involves plenty of non-food items too!), and whipped cream is a food I like to have on hand. Yes, it is a food and it covers a gamut of uses: substitutes in my coffee if I run out of half-and-half; is essential to hot cocoa; and consumed straight up, or actually straight down from the can and into the open, awaiting mouth, makes a delightful bribe to get Last Son to finish his schoolwork. Hmm, I think whipped cream could actually be an essential.  Like flour or some cans of soup in the pantry.  And if there is an earthquake, or other disaster, wouldn’t you feel better with a mouthful of whipped cream?  Yes, the soup would sustain you longer, but the whipped cream would ease your panic.  Yes, an essential it is.

What size spoon would you use to eat this?

How can you eat that canned stuff? you may ask.  Of course, if given the option, I prefer the real, get-out-the-Kitchenaid-whip-it-yourself, whipped cream.  Problem is that I seem to always have "extra" whipped cream when I use the real stuff for a recipe, and it doesn't store very long in the frig.  Meaning: I tend to devour the "extra" quickly and don't always have whipped cream on standby in the frig when I need it ("need" being a subjective term here).  The canned stuff lasts longer (and no, I don't really want to know why!).  

These are actual band colors.
I ask you:Can you see much
difference between
Aquablue and Violet Blue? 

Back to the orthodontist’s office...while I was still contemplating the whipped cream supply at home, Teenager emerged into the waiting room, smiling broadly.  Wow, it has been a long, long time since we’ve seen all her teeth.  No more trying to figure out what color of bands she chose while commenting that they looked...cute?, fun? stylish? (I never did figure out the right thing to say) And when I mistakenly tried to identify the color of the bands, I was usually wrong - not even close.  I couldn’t tell the difference between one color of bands and the next set, and that always led to the “eye roll”. Parents of teenagers try to become immune to the “eye roll”, but we secretly try to do something right to avoid it when we can. I am so glad those days are over!  I mean figuring out her band color choice...I think the “eye roll” phase will be with us for a few more years.

In the excitement of Teenager's new fresh, slippery teeth feeling, we forgot to pick up more whipped cream. When we arrived home, the day was not really chilly anymore, so no hot cocoa.  But Last Son and I usually have some on Fridays (again, it is a great bribe for schoolwork).  I can’t help but wonder now if the sound of the whipped cream splurting out on the cocoa will sound as good to me this Friday as it has in the past. Will I now associate the delectable ssscchhhhh (sound of whipped cream coming out of can) with the sound of the “saliva sucker”. How could my mind dare taint such a wonderful thing?