MY STADIUM WHINE ( MAKE THAT WINE) OR WHY BASKETBALL PLAYERS ARE MORE CIVILIZED

http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/some-baseball-whys/OR

As a parent, I began my appreciation of the sport of basketball for several selfish reasons.  First, it was indoors during the winter.  Even though we live in a fairly mild California climate, this area during the winter can often be wet and/or cold with gale force winds.  Many years ago, when Beginner Child played a couple of seasons of soccer, I did my stint outside on the sidelines, in the drizzle, standing because my chair was soaked.  They don’t call off soccer games unless it is really pouring, and only then because the grass field could be damaged.  No thought to the drenched players or parents.  Of course, after a particularly cold spell, our climate zone could offer up off-shore winds and above-normal temperatures for the following weekend.  If my body were made of sedimentary rock, I would have cleaved and eroded away by now.

Thankfully, neither Last Son or Teenager has much interest in playing soccer, so I have been spared that sport’s seasonal weather mood swings.  Beginner Child and Last Son are big fans of baseball.  Baseball season, even though this perennial sport is played in Spring, it can be an even colder sport to watch in our part of California.  The onshore winds off the ocean kick in around March and it can be brutal to be outside.  During baseball season I always have my parka and two quilts on standby in the car to get me through a game.  A game which goes a minimum of two hours or six innings - not including the warm-up time. Sometimes I come home after watching a baseball game and can’t get warm the rest of the day.   

Ahh, but then there is basketball season.  The sport with an indoor court.  No matter the weather, the gym is dry, though a jacket is sometimes still necessary on the bleachers.  And the games, at least through the high school level, are limited to about an hour.  Unlike after watching a baseball game, following a basketball game I have never felt the need to jump in a hot shower or bath just to get rid of the chill in my core. 


Spectator, and player, beverages, however, are limited at indoor gym sports.  While having a thermos of hot tea or coffee is du jour on the soccer field sidelines, and on the metal bleacher seats of a baseball diamond, basketball fans are limited in their choice of drink.  In the gym it’s water only and no eating.  Wood gym floors do not handle liquids well.  Which brings me to my absolutely favorite thing about “in the gym” sports....no spitting!

Why do baseball players spit continually, anywhere and everywhere.  The dugout must be slimy with spit by the end of a game.  The dugout floors are concrete, not dirt.  It’s not soaking in, its sliming away on top of the floor.  And who has to clean up this crap?  Now there is a job for Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs!


Do baseball players all suffer from the problem of an overstimulation of salivary glands?  Back in the day, I guess the tobacco chewing players needed to spit regularly and they just used the ground like a spittoon.  But today, hardly any players chew tobacco, so I’m not sure of the reason to spit unless it is just “part of the game”. Yuk! It is disgusting to watch on TV and in person. Young baseball players are emulating their idols by spitting sunflower seeds continually throughout the game. Hmm, are sunflower seeds the “gateway substance” to a spitting habit?  Even those who chew gum are spitting.  Don’t they need that moisture in their mouths?  Do they need to drink more water?

Baseball players may be sweating due to heat, nerves, or their minimal moments of exertion, but I don’t see any of them breathing so hard standing in position that they could be building up excessive amounts of saliva that needs to be spit out. And then there are the fans. Historically, baseball fans love to eat peanuts and spit out the shells on the ground around their seats.  Apparently this is how diehard fans get into the spirit of the game.

Watch a basketball game and there is no doubt that the  players on the court are breathing hard and sweating because they are continually running, up and down court.  These guys are working up a sweat. If a basketball player lands on the court floor, the towel guys are out there quickly sopping the sweat off the floor from player contact.  Are the basketball players sitting on the bench spitting on the floor in front of them.  No.  Are they spitting into a bucket nearby instead?  I haven’t seen any indication of that happening.  And they certainly aren’t spitting before making every free throw.

I have googled the topic- spitting- and it is simply amazing the comments posted.  Apparently, the question of why baseball players spit has quite a few people wondering.  And, I didn’t find any answer that points to anything other than a gross habit ritualized by the baseball players of old who used to chew tobacco.  Okay, totally makes sense to continue the disgusting habit right?

So baseball, America’s Game, is a sport that encourages spitting, on the playing field, on the mound, and in the stands.  Spitting, an act that is gross behavior in any other setting; is unsanitary; is distracting from the game being played; and probably nothing more than an addictive, ritualistic habit.  Yep, sounds just like an activity this country would hold in highest esteem.  

And to think that when I was a kid I didn’t like basketball because of the uniforms.  At ten years old I thought it was gross to see men’s armpit hair showing every time they shot the ball.  As an adult, the armpit hair is no longer an issue, though I can be distracted by the tattoos the college and pro players are sporting.   Which brings to mind the thick magnet necklaces that many baseball players are now wearing.  Basketball players cannot wear necklaces or any other jewelry on the court.  

So, with baseball you get spitting and necklaces; with basketball you get no spitting, and get to ponder the players’ tattoos.   With baseball you can drink and eat anything you want, and then spit. Here’s a question that could change my mind... Could I endure a baseball game’s inherent spitting scene if I was sipping a glass of wine in the stands?  My answer?  What kind of wine is it?

Now this is quite clever, though a bit crude if you are still sitting on the cushion while you are filling your cup.  

From: http://mis2pesos.blogspot.com/2011/10/11-creative-ways-to-hide-your-booze.html